The best way to handle parents is to lay out your expectations of them at the beginning of your time with the kids.  A great time to do this is at the beginning of the 2nd or 3rd practice.  It is best to be upfront about the fact that you are trying to learn how to coach soccer, and you would appreciate their input (privately, not in front of the players).  Even though you’re are just starting to learn how to coach soccer, you are the teams coach, and that parents should not second-guess your decisions in front of the players.  If they are truly interested in helping, you can let them work with you as an assistant coach, and you can learn how to coach soccer together.

Let your parents know that the best thing they can do for the team is to be cheer leaders.  Children are typically very sensitive to criticism from adults, and having parents on the sideline pointing out their mistakes will hurt their self esteem, and will negatively affect the way that child plays in the future.  Youth soccer players need to be encouraged.  You may be asking them to do something different, or to play a position that is not comfortable for them.  If a parent begins to criticize the child, that child will revert back to a more comfortable habit, even if it is the wrong thing to do.

One frustration that many youth soccer coaches endure is having parents that insist on coaching their child from the sideline.  You may be trying to teach your defenders to set an offside trap, and the parents are yelling for the defenders to fall back, which allows the attackers to get that much closer to the goal.  You may be teaching your wings to stay wide, and the parents are yelling for the wings to push in to help the center midfielder.  You might be working on short, controlled passes, and parents are yelling for the ball handler to make a long pass.  The point is, parent don’t always know or understand your game strategy, or what you are trying to teach your players.  The more you learn how to coach soccer, the more you will be trying new things during games.  Parents that don’t respect what you are trying to do will cause serious problems between you and your players.

Explain to parents that the amount of time their child will get to play depends on how well they attempt to do what you tell them to do.  If a child’s father tells them to do something different, there is a good chance the child will ignore you and listen to the parent.  If you tell them to make the short pass, and the player listens to dad and boots the ball long, you will end up pulling the child from the game for not listening to you.  It’s a situation where nobody wins.  Unfortunately, it happens time and again during youth soccer games.

It comes down to getting the parents to understand that even though you may be just learning how to coach soccer, you are the coach.  The more they can support your decisions in front of the children, the easier your job is, and the quicker your team will learn what you are trying to teach them.

Learning how to coach soccer parents how to behave on the sidelines is a big key to reducing the stress on game day.

Why can’t parents just parent the way we always have – taking some of their ideas from their own parents and coming up with others of their own? This is a model that has worked well for centuries now – despite parents wishing that their child did come with that magic manual!

The difference is now however, we live in a time of such vast technological change that it is a very different world in which to be a parent. What once could be gleaned from generations past, no longer holds true. Our parents didn’t have to contend with the omnipresent forms of technology that we as parents do – today more than 40% of Australian 6-13 year olds own a mobile phone, while only 12% of 14–17 year olds don’t regularly use one. Many of our children now have virtually 24/7 contact with their peers!

Our children on top of an average of 11 hours TV viewing a week also often spend hours in front of the computer with almost half of them being exposed at some time to offensive material on the internet.

We as parents don’t have guidelines from our own childhoods to deal with these constant changes and challenges, nor the ever increasing pace of change which is a part of our modern day world. It’s tough (as well as rewarding) being a parent today!

This is why parent-coaching can be a very valuable support for parents. Good coaches know that parents don’t need ‘fixing’, just the chance to see their situation differently. Coaching provides parents with an opportunity:

1. to gain skills and knowledge to face change with confidence

2. to discuss strategies to deal with the challenges that modern day parents face

3. to become observers of their own behaviour as we can only change what we notice

4. to make choices about changing their way of being

5. to put steps into place to approach their relationship with their children differently

6. to be accountable to themselves for the changes they wish to make

7. to maintain close family relationships, which in our constantly changing world are more important than ever.

We will become a far more positive society when reaching out for support to help us deal with modern day parenting challenges is seen as a healthy thing to do instead of a sign of weakness. After all it is our next generation we are talking about here and they deserve the very best start in life that we as parents can give them.